Married Life

Communication

James 3:13-15

¹³ Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. ¹⁵ This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, and demonic.

Wisdom – Enables one to face trials with "pure joy." Wisdom is not just acquired information but practical insight with spiritual implications.

The solution for the problem of controlling our tongues is to seek divine wisdom. The person who possesses godly wisdom will meekly show it with works, not just words. That is, believers should be slow to speak. If you have worldly wisdom, which is nothing more than self-interest don't boast about it. Don't just be slow to speak; rather, don't speak lies at all. If wisdom displays itself apart from good conduct and meekness, it is not from above. In fact, it is characterized as earthly, wise by the world's standards, sensual, meaning natural as distinguished from spiritual, and demonic.

Whatever camps in your heart, is going to be on your tongue.

Ephesians 5:4

⁴ neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

Ephesians 4:29

²⁹ Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

Grace - unearned, unmerited favor or blessing.

This means that when we talk to our life partners, there is to be purity in our speech. Our words are to be gentle, reasonable-ready to yield-not always insisting on our own way, our own viewpoint. 
Reasonable speech is full of kindness and mercy. Our goal should be to build up others, especially our life partners.

Before we speak, we need to take time to think about what is most appropriate. In other words, what does my husband need to hear at this particular time or what words would particularly benefit my wife at this moment?

James 4:1-2

 ¹What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? ²You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. (NIV)

The conflict within us is between our sinful desires for pleasure (material things) and the desire for God's will, an attitude the Holy Spirit has placed within us.

Have you ever been hurt because your husband or wife didn't meet your expectations? Did you want something-only to be refused? You wanted to be loved, understood, comforted, encouraged, or held, but your spouse seemed either unwilling or unable to meet your need. You sent out all the right signals, but they weren't received. Did it leave you feeling a little nettled, maybe a little angry?

We then proceed to shoot our mates as we let loose with both barrels filled with hateful, spiteful, angry words. We murder our mates with the buckshot of iron verbs.

Galatians 5:16-24

¹⁶ I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
¹⁹ Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, ²¹ envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. ²⁴ And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

The desires of our flesh are at odds with what the Holy Spirit desires for us: to be free from sin. Living by the promptings and power of the Spirit is the key to conquering sinful desires.


References:

Good Communication Begins With the Heart

March 3, 2009

http://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/explore-the-bible/11600256.html

Kay Arthur
Host, Precepts For Life
Co-CEO, Precept Ministries International

Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Commentary

The NIV Study Bible, Zondervan

New Year's Resolution

Now that Christmas is over, it time to prepare for New Year's Eve and then New Year's resolutions. I usually don't make New Year's resolutions, but I think I might this year.  I want to be more balanced this year.  I want to be able to balance my family's needs with mine as well as my personal and professional life. If anyone has any suggestions, sites I should visit or personal experiences they are willing to share, please comment and follow.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I hope everyone is having a Merry Christmas! The presents have been opened.  Guests have or are still arriving (depending on which coast you live) and everyone is enjoying a great dinner with friends and family.

Tomorrow brings a new day of shopping, whether exchanging or getting deals on after Christmas sales.  We then begin to look to the new year and make our New Year's Resolutions.

The New Year brings new challenges and opportunities.

More Christmas Prayers

A Reflective Christmas Prayer
Father God, When your precious Son became a tiny baby in a stable in Bethlehem in poverty and simplicity, you changed our world. As we imagine those surroundings, we join with the shepherds and the wise men in wonder and praise. We thank you for our material lives, praise you for our spiritual lives, and trust in you for our eternal life.   Amen.

A Christmas Prayer by Robert Louis Stevenson

Loving Father, Help us remember the birth of Jesus, 
that we may share in the song of the angels, 
the gladness of the shepherds, 
and worship of the wise men.
Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting. Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts.
May the Christmas morning make us happy to be thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake.   Amen.

A Christmas Prayer

We thought we knew where to find you;
we hardly needed a star to guide the way,
jus perserverance and common sense;
why do you hid yourself away from the powerful
and join the refugees and outcasts,
calling up to follow you there?
     Wise God, give us wisdom


We thought we had laid you safe in a manger;
we wrapped you in the thickest sentiment we could find,
and stressed how long ago you came to us;
why do you break upon us in our daily life
with messages of peace and goodwill,
demanding that we do something about it?
     Just and righteous God, give us justice and righteousness.


So where else would we expect to find you
but in the ordinary place with the faithful people,
turning the world to your purpose through them.
Bring us to that manger, to that true rejoicing,
which will make wosdom, justice and righteousness alive in us.

Stephen Orchard

A Christmas Prayer

Glory be to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill towards men; for unto us is born a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord.
   We praise thee, we bless thee, we glorify thee, we give thanks unto thee for this greatest of thy mercies, O Lord God, heavenly king, God the Father almighty.
   O Lord, the only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ. O lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father, who wast made man to take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us by turning us from our iniquities.  Thou, who was made manifest to destroy the works of the devil, have mercy upon us by enabling us to renounce and forsake them. Thou who art the great advocate with the Father, receive our prayer we humbly beseech thee.

Thomas Ken, 1637-1711

More Christmas Prayers

O God the Son, highest an holiest, who didst humble thyself to share our birth and our death; Bring us with the shepherds and wise men to kneel before thy lowly cradle, that we may come to sing with thine angels thy glorious praises in heaven; where with the Father and the Holy Spirit thou livest and reignest God, world without end.

Frank Colquhoun

Lord Jesus, this Christmas as we sing the familiar carols, hear the familiar readings and ponder on familiar mysteries, give to us the gift of pure worship -- that ability which Mary had of attributing to you your true worth, your full value, your inestimable greatest.

Teach us to be reverent; yet teach us how to express the love that burns within our hearts as we think of your goodness to us -- that you have come to be our light in darkness, our hope in despair, our strength in weakness, our shelter in th storm -- yes, and our eternal Saviour.

Joyce Huggett

Merciful an most loving God, by whose will and bountiful gift thine eternal Son humbled himself that he might exalt mankind, and became flesh that he might renew in us the divine image; perfect us in thy likeness, and bring us at last to rejoice in beholding thy beauty, and with all thy saints, to glorify thy grace; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord.

Prayers for the Christian Year

May the joy of angels,
the eargerness of the shepherds,
the perseverance of th wise men,
the obedience of Joseph and Mary,
and the peace of the Christ child
  be yours this Christmas.
And the blessing of God almighty, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, be upon you and remain with you always.

The Promise of His Glory

Another Christmas Prayer

The feast day of your birth resembles you, Lord,
Because it brings joy to all humanity.
Old people and infants alike enjoy your day.
Kings and emperors may pass away,
And the festivals to commemorate them soon lapse.
But your festival will be remembered till the end of time.
Your day is a means and a pledge of peace.
At your birth heaven to earth on that day
You forgave ours sins and wiped away our guilt.
You gave us so many gifts on your birthday:
A treasure chest of spiritual medicine for the sick;
Spiritual light for those that are blind;
The cup of salvation for the thirsty;
The bread of life for the hungry.
In the winter when trees are bare,
You give us the most succulent spiritual fruit.
In the frost when the earth is barren,
You bring new hope to our souls.
In December when seeds are hidden in the soil,
The staff of life springs forth from the virgin womb.

Ephraim the Syrian, c.306-373

Another Christmas Prayer

O Lord our God, as we celebrate again the festival of Christ mas, we ask you to make us humble and loving like Jesus, who did not come to be served but to serve, and whos siad that it is better to give than to receive; so that, in his name, we may devote ourselves to the care and service of all those who are in need. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Stephen S. Smalley

A Christmas Prayer

God of love, open the hearts and minds of many this Christmas time to the good and saving news of Jesus Christ; that those whose lives are insecure, or empty, or aimless, may find in the One born at Bethlehem all that they need today, and much more besides. For his name's sake.

Worship Now

The Good News of Christmas

The Good News of Christmas

And the angel said to the shepherds, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign to you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." (Luke 2:10-12)

Familiar verses aren’t they? So familiar, in fact, that it is easy to miss just how remarkable they are… 

            Fear not…

            I bring you good news…

            A Savior is born…

            He’s lying in a manger… 

The birth of Jesus is not the way we would have planned it. No person, however poor, should have to be born in a stable. No delivery room, no doctor. Hay on the floor, animal all around. And the smell! The mess! This is no place for a royal birth.

But God sees things differently. He chose a manger over a mansion. He picked a carpenter over a king. He designed a quiet coming over a worldwide celebration. Why would God, the Creator of heaven and earth, send his Son to be born in such a lowly place?

Perhaps Jesus, the only Son of God, was born in a stable to give hope to all those whose lives look like one. We sure do make a mess of things. Sometimes our actions stink. And though we try to make the best of it, the winter wind still sneaks into the corners of our lives, and the nights get cold and dark.

Too many days too far from God? Too many years too hard on others? Too much mess? God knows… and he has some amazing words for you. 

            I bring you good news…

            I’ll give you great joy…

            I sent the Savior, Christ the Lord! 

Want to know God’s answer to the deepest longings of your life? “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

Here we find the answer, in the most unexpected place. Look long at heaven’s barn-born baby – he’s the Holy One sleeping in the hay – and listen as God: No mess turns me back, no smell turns me away. I was born to live in lives like yours.

He knows exactly what you’re like. And still he loves you He simply awaits your invitation to come in. One word from you and God will do again what he did back then. He’ll place his Son in th stable of your heart. He’ll give you the gift of eternal life.

Good news! Great joy! Eternal life! Would you like to receive this gift this Christmas? Will you tell God you do?

“Father, I believe you love me. You gave your one and only Son for me – born in a manger, dying on the cross to pay for my sins, rising again to same me. I accept you gift to live forever with you. Apart from you, I die. With you I live. I choose life. I choose you.”


Max Lucado

A Christmas Prayer

Sweet Child of Bethlehem, grant that we may share with all our hearts in this profound mystery of Christmas. Pour into the hearts of men the peace which they sometimes seek so desperately, and which you alone can give them. Help them to know one another better and to live as brothers, children of the same Father. Awaken in their hearts love and gratitude for your infinite goodness; join them together in your love; and give us all your heavenly peace.

(Pope) John XXIII, 1881-1963

The Meaning of Christmas

Christmas is getting nearer.  Christmas pageants, concerts, plays and parties are in full swing.  The shopping malls and plazas are full of people, and cars.  The streets are crowed with those trying to get to and from the stores and restaurants.  The hustle and bustle of the Christmas fever is everywhere.

But be sure to slow down and remember what Christmas is really all about.  Tell your children the story of Jesus' birth and of the first Christmas sermon and the basis of the nativity scene.

 Luke 2: 8-20

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
 "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

The true meaning of Christmas is not about man loving man. The true meaning of Christmas is about God loving man. It is about God giving the most amazing and spectacular gift to us. The gift is that Christ came into the world for you and me!

Luke 2:10 - And the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which shall be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord…

II Corinthians 8:9 - “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.”

Christmas Tree Scenes

Please feel free to share your favorite Christmas Tree Scenes.

Over the last week or so, I have talked about the “Meaning of Christmas.” It is easy to think of Christmas in this was when things are going well.  We have jobs, our children are staying out of trouble and doing well in school and we are able to get and give our families most of what they want.  What happens when everything is not going well?  One or both parents are out of work, the children may be rebelling or not doing their best in school and we are barely able to give our family at least one of the things on their wish list. I found this ditty in another blog (see reference below) and felt it sums everything up. Others may have had a devastating event happen around this date and are constantly reminded of this due to the season.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but children woke up to find they were bare.  No gifts, no gifts and Santa was jeered.  The recession had hit and he canceled Christmas this year.  That wasn't the case for all - the rich got to play with their fancy new balls; poor tots had their toys to enjoy - but the low middle class, their Christmas was spoiled.  Without a full-time job, without any money to see, there would not be gifts under their Christmas tree.

How do we get over all of this and enjoy the season and its true meaning?

References:

*http://tmgbblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/meaning-of-christmas.html

The Meaning of Christmas - The Nativity

Nativity - na·tiv·i·ty (nə-tĭv'ĭ-tē, nā-)  n. pl. na·tiv·i·ties

Dictionary:
1. Birth, especially the place, conditions, or circumstances of being born.

2. Nativity

a. The birth of Jesus.

b. A representation, such as a painting, of Jesus just after birth.

c. Christmas.

3. A horoscope for the time of one's birth.

The Birth of Jesus Christ (Matthew 1: 18-24, Luke 2: 4-20)

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."  When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.

Jesus' parents, Mary and Joseph, traveled from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary to be counted in a government census. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born and they found that there was no room for them in the local inn. Mary gave birth to Jesus in a common stable, wrapped him in cloths and laid him in a manger (a feeding trough for livestock).

The Shepherds and the Angels

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

 "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about." So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

The Meaning of Christmas (cont.)

The Colors of Christmas
Red         -  Christ's blood shed for our sin.  (John 19:34)

Green     -  We have eternal life in Christ. (John 3:16-17)

White     - The purity of Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

Gold       - The Kingship and Royalty of Christ (Isaiah 9:6-7)

The Meaning of Christmas (cont.)

What is the meaning of the symbols we associate with  Christmas? Candy cane - made by a Christian confectioner as a reminder of the Shepherd’s staff.  They were red and white - red for the blood shed by Jesus Christ, white for His purity.

The Wreath -  God is the Alpha and Omega.  He is everlasting.   His kingdom knows no beginning and no end.   (Revelation 1:8)

The Lights  - "Jesus, the Light of the world." (John 8:12) "The Lord shall be thy everlasting light." (Isaiah 60:20) "The Lord is my light and my salvation." (Psalm 27:1)

The Holly     -  crown of thorns (see red & green below)

The Star  - marks the place where the Christ Child lay.  (Matthew 2:10)

Christmas Tree     Symbol of the Jesse Tree.  Jesse was the father of King David.  He had 8 sons and 2 daughters.  It is from his lineage that the Christ Child receives his earthly ancestry.” (Isaiah 11:1-2)  Symbolizes life.  The tree wasChristianized in the 4th century during the reign of  Emperor Constantine. The pagan celebration of the Saturnalia was replaced with Christmas on Dec. 25th. ("Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" - Romans 12:21) - All nature rejoices at the birth of the Savior - The Lord is like "an evergreen tree" Hosea 14:8

Angels - proclaim the birth of the Savior. (Luke 2:10)